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Mormonism and Non-Mormonism don't link to future lives. I still cry every night for himbecause I love himprobably always will. She has to come to the realization that the church may not be infallible, it can't be forced on her or proven to her. She may never join the join the church. Second, in my experience mormons have been some of the kindest people I've ever had the privilege to know, and they have not lived up to the cult image you describe. I sacrificed a career and instead raise the children at home which often feels like single parenthood.
As you can see Also, the fact that she served a mission is evidence of her dedication to the religion. She found the perfect Mormon guy, they were married in the temple. If you and she are not sealed, your children won't be sealed to either of you.